One of my earliest memories is of dinner at Grandma Rose’s house. Her towels, furniture, and closets smelled of mothballs; she even stored her silverware in mothballs. Mostly, though, I recall standing on Grandma’s couch to study the framed collage of black and white photographs on her wall. I recognized my father, but knew the other boy in the pictures only by name, and by heart.

Uncle Lewis was my father’s only sibling, younger than my dad by ten years. We never met, and Daddy never spoke of him. But they were best friends. In one picture Lewis was laughing, having been surprised on the toilet by my father with his camera. The brothers teased Grandma too. Lewis would yell, “Harry, stop hitting me!” Grandma would rush in, and scold my father for picking on his brother. Undaunted, they’d laugh and repeat, until Grandma caught on.

Soon after the attack on Pearl Harbor, Lewis was drafted into the infantry, a shy studious eighteen year old who had never kissed a girl. My father joined up as an officer. He pulled a few strings to get Lewis transferred into the 30th ‘Old Hickory’ Division, so the brothers could cross the Atlantic on the same ship. Lewis wrote letters and post cards home, often addressed to their dog ‘Peanuts.’

“Hey, Peanuts, tell Pa to eat his spinach!” From the ship he wrote, “Harry and his buddies sneaked me into their cabin. They gave me chocolate and let me play with their puppy. Don’t tell anyone, or we’ll all catch it. They smuggled the pup on board, and officers shouldn’t fraternize with enlisted men…”
While serving in Africa, Italy, England, France, and Germany, Harry was safely behind the front lines. But Lewis was sent to Normandy two days after the D-Day invasion. He fought in the hedgerows of France, and in Holland. “The Dutch ran into the streets and passed out everything from soup to nuts. As we marched out of there in the middle of the night, you could hear the clink of cognac, whiskey, and wine bottles in the guys’ jackets, amidst all the cursing and the roar of the Jerrys’ planes overhead.”
To his parents Lewis wrote, “Dear Ma and Pa, today I saw General Eisenhower drive by.” Or, “Kronk said the war can’t last. It just can’t. And he said it with such an angelic look on his face, I believe him!”

But to my father he wrote, “You should see the bruise from where a bullet passed through my shirt, Brub. It was a close call.” Or, “They took Julian away. It’s so lonely here, Brub. He’s the reason I wouldn’t take that promotion to sergeant. We dug in together, took care of each other when things got rough. I don’t know how bad he’s hurt; I just hope he makes it, and escapes this Hell. Pray for me, Brub. Pray for me.”
On September 20, 1944, the day before his company attacked the Siegfried Line, Staff Sergeant Lewis Baltuck was killed by the blast of a shell. Twenty years old, he had hardly begun to live. He was survived by his parents, his dog Peanuts, and his brother Harry. He never had the time or the opportunity to fall in love and marry. He left no children to mourn for him—only the Bronze Star and the bronzed baby booties Grandma kept on her bookshelf until the day she died, more than forty years after her son’s death.

Harry married, had seven children, and built his own little house in Detroit. But for the rest of his life he suffered acutely from the unspeakable burden of depression and Survivor’s Guilt. When Grandpa Max died, my father became the sole caretaker of his widowed mother. There was no one to share that burden with, to joke with or jolly her along. Worst of all, crazed with grief, Grandma Rose blamed Harry for Lewis’s death.
I envied those kids who grew up with cousins to play with, and uncles who cared about them. Uncle Lewis would’ve been that kind of uncle, and my father would have been a different man, without that black cloud to live under. When Daddy died in 1965, we lost our connection to my father’s extended family, and our ties to our paternal cultural heritage were nearly lost as well. But it does no good to dwell on the past or to speculate on what might have been.

Uncle Lewis was right about one thing. War is Hell. The price it exacts is impossible to tally, and can never be repaid. When a soldier is killed, one heart stops beating, but many more are broken. The wounds inflicted upon whole families are so deep that the scars can still be felt after generations.
I swear my uncle’s little bronze baby booties will never end up on the bargain shelf at the Salvation Army Thrift Store, like so many others I have seen there. How sad to think that such precious keepsakes might be tossed into the giveaway because no one remembers or cares about the one whose little feet filled them.

I attended the 60th reunion of the Old Hickory Division in Nashville in search of someone who knew my uncle. I met only one man who remembered him…“a quiet man who didn’t say much, but when he did speak, he was always worth listening to.”
I tell my children that story, and many other stories about their Great Uncle Lewis. I am confident he will be cherished and remembered, not just for his tragic death, but for his joyful life.
copyright 2012 Naomi Baltuck
Such a wonderful post and tribute to your uncle Lewis. I wish that i knew as much about my uncle who went down on a Japanese POW ship. From the few snippets I’ve gleaned from mom, he would have been the perfect uncle for me to hero worship. I missed him even though I never met him. War is such a terrible and pointless exercise.
By: adinparadise on May 28, 2012
at 10:42 am
You are so right. World War II was an unusual war in that most people agree it had to be fought to save the world from domination by a heinous madman with unspeakable evil which he had already demonstrated himself capable of following through on. But I think most war is pointless and our children are viewed as plastic toy soldiers to move around a game board by people who have never been to war or known the horror of it, and who have never sent their children into battle.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. It is very real, and every single life lost in that or in any war is a cruel wound in a family’s well-being that will change to course of its family history for generations.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 3:59 pm
A very moving story, Naomi… and I know that ache, for loved ones who were let behind, sometimes at the beginning of their adult lives… and sometimes in the middle. You’ve told this so well.
By: ShimonZ on May 28, 2012
at 10:50 am
Dear Shimon, thank you. I am so sorry for your loss.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:01 pm
Beautifully told, Naomi. I’m glad you reminded us of the terrible tole on those left behind. The shame is that it’s still happening.
By: The Wanderlust Gene on May 28, 2012
at 11:01 am
It’s heartbreaking. I think the best way to honor their sacrifice and support our troops is to be sure they are fighting for a good cause, and right now I worry and feel uncertain about that.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:13 pm
Naomi, I do apologise for a month lapse in replying. This swish new notifications tab on the homepage is working really well now, and all sorts of notes and messages are coming to light, including yours about our current battlefields.
I’m with you on that concern – in fact I think we’re dealing with it in the wrong way.
By: The Wanderlust Gene on June 24, 2012
at 5:02 am
Thank you for your visit. I know how that goes! I have a hard time keeping up with my blogs, and sometimes it’s a while before I realize something has slipped between the cracks.
I appreciate your thoughtful comments.
By: Naomi Baltuck on June 24, 2012
at 2:38 pm
By: The Wanderlust Gene on June 24, 2012
at 5:45 pm
What a tragic yet moving story. I, too, have a great-uncle who I never met, because he died on a beach in France. He was younger than my grandmother, who had a premonition of his death the day before the telegram arrived. I don’t even know his name; Dad can’t remember and my Nan is no longer around to tell me.
However, I am proud to have a war hero in the family – and my Nan always spoke very highly of her younger brother’s character.
By: Missus Tribble on May 28, 2012
at 11:02 am
That is so sad. Keep telling the story, Ms. T. There is an African folk tale that says one is never truly dead as long as one is remembered, and a Jewish folk tale that says sometimes names and places are forgotten, but just telling is enough. I thank you so much for sharing your uncle’s story today. I am going to light a candle of remembrance in his honor today, for your uncle who was loved and remembered and who had such a bond with his sister that she felt his loss through time and space and spirit.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:19 pm
Great memorial…wonderful old photos!
By: scillagrace on May 28, 2012
at 12:39 pm
Thank you!
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:19 pm
What a beautiful post, Naomi. It brought tears to my eyes. Anyone who fights in a war should be memorialized, whether they come home or not, and it breaks my heart to think that families are ruptured and can’t get through it together.
By: interstitial_squirrel on May 28, 2012
at 1:13 pm
Thank you, Katie. That is something I feel so strongly about! I did some serious research into my uncle’s experience, and I didn’t need to go talk to the veterans in his division (although I could tell you stories!) to know that no one comes home from war the same person. If they were never wounded in the flesh, it still takes a terrible toll on the spirit, and one that few people ever truly recover from.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:24 pm
beautifully written, thank you for sharing your memories
By: Beth, just being me on May 28, 2012
at 1:30 pm
Thank you, Beth.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:25 pm
My heart goes out to you. I’ve seen what lifelong guilt, regret and hopelessness can do to one. there will always be the thoughts which begin their trail with ‘what if…?’ your recollection of Great Uncle Lewis, in bits nevertheless, was wrenching. War can never be the answer.
Be awesome.
Regards.
By: Ritika Upadhyay At Le Blog on May 28, 2012
at 1:33 pm
Thank you so much. May there be peace for the world, inwardly and among nations!
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:30 pm
Such a moving post Naomi! Your beautifully worded tribute to your uncle underlines the tragic waste of war.
By: Madhu on May 28, 2012
at 2:47 pm
Thank you, Madhu. It is tragic on all levels, to individuals, to families, and among nations.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:32 pm
A beautiful, yet sad post.
How wonderful of you to keep your uncle’s memory alive, and to share it with all of us. It reminds us what Memorial Day weekend is really about.
Thank you!
By: maggiemyklebust on May 28, 2012
at 4:03 pm
Thank you, Maggie.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:32 pm
“will never end up on the bargain shelf at the Salvation Army Thrift Store, like so many others I have seen there.”
Pity anyone would do that. It’s almost like a part of a person’s heritage.
By: J. G. Burdette on May 28, 2012
at 4:12 pm
I have seen that on several occasions, and it is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. Whether soldiers or grandmas, those Someones were loved and treasured. It is heartbreaking to see the symbol of that life, possibly their very existence–their stories, their name–accidentally lost or tossed away as meaningless trash.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 4:41 pm
Thank you Naomi. My husband’s Ron’s father, Paul, was killed in the last days of the 2nd World War, when Ron was only 2. We often think how different it would have been had he lived. (For one thing, we are certain Ron would have had younger brothers or sisters to terrorize!) In this weekend of BBQs & cookouts, it is so good to have you speak to the underlying meaning with your personal story that evokes it for us all. And the current generation now undergoing their own experience of it in Iraq & Afghanistan. The cost is too, too high.
By: Anne Rutherford on May 28, 2012
at 6:25 pm
Dear Anne, thank you so much for sharing Ron’s story. His is another life that would certainly have played itself out differently had his father lived. But so many people don’t take into account how life-changing, damaging, and haunting war is to a person’s spirit. If I learned one thing from all my army buddies in the 60th, it is that no one who goes to war comes back without scars.
In many ways it must be worse for the soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq. In WWII there was no doubt our help was desperately needed in Europe, and we were welcomed as liberators. The situation in the Middle East is much more cloudy and confusing; their role is not nearly so clearly defined, and their presence is often unwelcome. My heart goes out to them.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 28, 2012
at 11:52 pm
These family stories make my heart ache no matter how many times I hear them. You have some pictures I haven’t seen before. Next time we are together maybe we can go through and look at things together. War takes a terrible toll that goes on for generations. The older I get the more completely convinced I am that this is true. Who is not touched in some way?
By: leecarlsonyoga on May 28, 2012
at 6:46 pm
Dear Lee, that’s so true. I would love to see you, and I hope it won’t be too long before we do, and we can trade stories and perceptions.
Ours was just one family. 60 million people are known to have died in World War II (although some estimates are as high as 78 million). That’s 3-4% of the entire 1939 world population! Think of the impact that war had on our family, and multiply it by 60 million. How could our world ever be the same?
And it is still going on today. People think the war in the Middle East is a small war because only 7,500 US soldiers have died there, but I’ve read that as many as 300,000 soldiers have suffered debilitating brain injuries, and that 18 Iraq vets commit suicide each day. It is heartbreaking and discouraging.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 29, 2012
at 12:23 am
very beautiful, dear Naomi. How your father must have suffered. It takes us to age to appreciate what our parents lived through. I didn’t begin your blog at the beginning. what brings you to write about your Uncle Lewis?
By: diane wolkstein on May 29, 2012
at 3:00 am
Hi Diana,
I thought it would be an appropriate subject for Memorial Day.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 29, 2012
at 3:44 am
Your Uncle Lewis is an amazing man. He has a generous heart, pure and sincere. He is a hero. He is also a man with a heart. This words just breathes truthfulness, ” War is Hell. The price it exacts is impossible to tally, and can never be repaid. When a soldier is killed, one heart stops beating, but many more are broken. The wounds inflicted upon whole families are so deep that the scars can still be felt after generations.” I pray for peace. I pray for those who fought and still fighting for our freedom. This day is about them.
By: island traveler on May 29, 2012
at 4:38 am
Uncle Lewis was a sweet boy. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments and kind words.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 29, 2012
at 6:26 am
So sad, wars have so many victims.
My great Uncle was killed in action in Borneo in 1945 at the age of 23. When I searched through war records I found a photo of a smiling faced young man boarding the troopship with his company. He was hanging over the rail clearly having a joke with those yet to board. I often wonder what sort of person he would have been if he had survived.
So many young men have died in wars, and so many of their stories will never be known. It is lovely that you care enough to remember your Uncle Lewis. I expect that there are many, many stories like his without anybody to be their keeper. Well done for passing his memory on to your children.
By: metan on May 29, 2012
at 11:37 am
Thank you so much. What a clear picture you paint of your great uncle. It is astounding to think of all the young men who lost their lives, and are losing their lives in wars today, each one with a story and people who love them. I think we serve them all when we put a face on the statistic and remind the governments who are sending these kids off to war that they are real flesh and blood human beings. Thanks for sharing your story.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 30, 2012
at 5:13 pm
Your Uncle Lewis just touched my heart. Thank you.
By: megan hicks on May 29, 2012
at 4:10 pm
Thank you so much for stopping by. One for the listening, one for the teller, and one for the one who took it to heart.
I was so pleased to send you a copy of Apples From Heaven. Thanks so much for your order–I hope you enjoy it!
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 30, 2012
at 5:16 pm
This is beautiful Naomi. I also had an uncle I never met. I was the first of the family to visit his grave in Norfolk England in 1973, 31 years after he died trying to bring his damaged plane home. He died on his birthday at the age of 24. My daughter once asked, “Is it possible to miss someone you’ve never met?” I think it is.
By: Lynne Ayers on May 29, 2012
at 6:23 pm
Dear Lynne, such a sad story. I remember when my mother was ill, helping her clear out her attic, and coming upon a box of my uncle’s letters in the attic. As I read those letters, I felt like I was hearing his voice for the first time–such a sweet funny boy–and I felt pangs for him, his parents and brother, and for all that we had lost. As your daughter said, I found myself missing and grieving for the loss of someone I had never met.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 30, 2012
at 7:36 pm
a beautiful tribute to your uncle and your father. thank you.
By: bethsciallo on May 29, 2012
at 11:43 pm
I appreciate that–thanks so much.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 30, 2012
at 9:25 pm
Deeply touching and profoundly sad.
War is hell, and senseless madness. Heavy sigh.
By: Fish & Bicycles on May 31, 2012
at 4:02 pm
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I am sighing in Seattle, too.
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 31, 2012
at 4:05 pm
Naomi, you are a truly gifted writer. You made me smile and laugh and cry as I read your post. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss and how they suffered because of the war.
By: Kourtney Heintz on June 1, 2012
at 12:26 am
Dear Kourtney,
I know those very kind words are coming from a very talented writer, and I thank you. It has been such a pleasure to meet you in this miraculous blogosphere!
By: Naomi Baltuck on June 1, 2012
at 2:46 am
My Granny’s brother, Roger, an officer in the First World War, was killed at the tender age of 18. He’d only just left school and had won an award for his academic brilliance. Everybody loved him. What a loss. I often think that this was a whole potential branch to the family tree lopped off, before Roger could ever marry, produce children, and generally contribute to the world.
Thank you for sharing your Uncle Lewis’ story. It’s a grand way of keeping his memory alive.
By: sarahpotterwrites on June 4, 2012
at 12:33 pm
Dear Sarah, thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss, and so sorry for young Roger.
By: Naomi Baltuck on June 7, 2012
at 5:48 am
So many have such stories as this. Thanks for sharing it here with us … we need to talk of such things. We need always to remember.
P.S.: I always read, don’t always comment. Enjoy you blog much.
P.S.S.: Naomi, I would like to post this one to http://intothebardo.wordpress.com All credits, links, and copyright as appropriate. I will check back here to see if I have your permission.
Jamie
By: Jamie Dedes on June 6, 2012
at 3:58 pm
Dear Jamie, you are most welcome to. Thank you for your kind words.
By: Naomi Baltuck on June 6, 2012
at 4:27 pm
Hooray! Thank you. It will post on June 26.
Jamie
By: Explorations in Sacred Space on June 6, 2012
at 11:26 pm
Dear Jamie, thanks so much!
By: Naomi Baltuck on June 7, 2012
at 5:49 am
This is beautifully done but very sad.
By: 12kilroy on June 9, 2012
at 8:42 pm
Thank you. For a long, long time I didn’t tell it, because it was too sad, and there had to be a reason. When we ended up in the Middle East in a pre-emptive war, declared by a man whose Daddy had pulled strings to get him out of Vietnam, and whose children were never in danger of being sent off to war, a man who seemed to be treating other mother’s children like plastic soldiers on a game board, I realized there was actually a point to this story, and a reason to tell it. I so appreciate your thoughtful comments.
By: Naomi Baltuck on June 9, 2012
at 9:24 pm
Naomi, thank-you so much for sharing such a beautiful tribute. We’ve both recognized the importance of capturing and passing down what we know. Our loved ones may be gone but bringing their stories forward will help keep their memories alive.
By: Cathy G on July 16, 2012
at 12:11 am
Absolutely. So glad I found your blog–I look forward to more of your family history posts. Thanks for stopping by, Cathy.
By: Naomi Baltuck on July 16, 2012
at 6:58 am
[...] And tomorrow, as we light our candles yet again, we will be thinking of my father, Harry Baltuck, and Remembering Uncle Lewis. [...]
By: Veterans’ Day « Writing Between the Lines on November 10, 2012
at 4:13 pm
[…] For another facet of this topic, check out this link by Carbon Leaf, The War Was in Color, and my post Remembering Uncle Lewis. […]
By: Black and White (or Not) | INTO THE BARDO, A BLOGAZINE on May 18, 2013
at 7:10 am