Proud Mom of a Starfleet Cadet

Last month we attended Sue and Rick’s White Elephant party.  Remember Sue?

Everyone brought a wrapped “White Elephant,” something new or used to pass on.  We drew numbers, with number one picking a gift and unwrapping it.  The next person could choose an unopened gift or lay claim to someone’s opened gift.  But a gift couldn’t change hands more than three times.

I’ve always been a Trek Geek so in my opinion, the best prize was an email address “@,”and that’s even before I realized it was the gift that would keep on giving.  It was snatched twice by Star Trek officianados, AKA Trekkers.  When my daughter Bea’s turn came, she commandeered the Starfleet address and no one could take it from her, as she was the third to claim it.  At the holiday’s end, she returned to school.

Soon after, I received my first email from my cadet at Starfleet Academy.  She had enlisted!

Dear Mom and Dad,

 I just wanted you to know that I have settled into my dorm room and all is well. My roommate is an Aaamazzarite. It is a little awkward between us still because I can’t pronounce the name of her species. On the bright side, however, Aaamazzarites are hairless, so vacuuming is quite easy. It’s better than last year, when I roomed with that girl from Sigma Iotia II. She kept trying to extract protection money from me and teach me some weird game called “bizz fin.” 

I started classes yesterday.  I’m pretty excited for Andorian Early Empires, though there is only one other person in the class, and he’s…well…Andorian. Wish me luck. I’m also in Xenolinguistics, Intelligently Fudging Incident Reports (which, legend has it, Kirk got an A+ in), and the Starfleet Graphic Novel Project, which follows the struggles of 13 female Starfleet captains back when sexism was still a thing.

 I also made a couple of friends. One of them is a fellow student of xenobiology. We’re both interested in extraterrestrial ecology. He seems pretty fun, although he’s strangely obsessed with mustaches. The other guy is a Ferengi. He talks really quickly and likes juggling gold-pressed latinum. Unfortunately for him, he is very good at juggling but has no latinum to juggle. He plays the Vulcan lute surprisingly well. 

Anyways, I’ll let you know how things go. I love you and miss you!



Upon reflection, Bea at Starfleet Academy made perfect sense.  She was always keen to explore strange new worlds…

–especially her own little world.

I recalled the voyages of the star child Beatrice.

Her ongoing mission…

…to seek out new life…

…and new civilizations.

 Rife with pirates…


…and pink fuzzy brainsucking creatures.

From the tiny…

…to the towering.

And at great personal risk…

…To boldly go…

…where no man has gone before.

She is well qualified.  A Starfleet cadet needs to be flexible.

She always manages to bounce back…

…blend in with the locals…

…and keep her head.

We can hardly wait to beam down to the Academy in San Francisco to check out her new Starfleet digs.

Barring any transporter accidents…

…which can get SO messy.

We’ll tell you all about it.  In the meantime…

Dear Bea, 

It’s good to know you are all settled into your dorm.  Life goes on, but it isn’t the same without you.  To cheer ourselves up in our Empty Nest, Dad and I took a short trip to Risa.  When they say what happens at Risa stays at Risa, they aren’t kidding.  He left six bars of gold pressed latinum at the Dabbo tables.  It’s lucky I’m such a cheap date.  All I needed was a l’il sippy cup of Romulan Ale, and a few hours in the Holo Suite.  I like that program about The Battle of Hastings, only I programmed it so that King Harold Godwinson could kick William the Conqueror’s ass right back to Normandy.

The bad news is that we asked Grandma to take care of your pet tribble, Odysseus, while we were gone.  Unfortunately, Grandma forgot she wasn’t supposed to feed it.  By the time we got home, five days later, there were eight generations of tribbles crammed into the cage, and they had all died of suffocation.  We put them in stasis and can have the funerals—228 of them–when you come home for spring break.  Maybe we can get you a nice Cardassian Vole.  

Don’t turn your back on that Ferengi, and don’t get killed!


Mom and Dad


Copyright 2014 Naomi Baltuck

Click here for more interpretations of The Weekly Travel Theme: Letters

Click here for more interpretations of The Weekly Photo Challenge: Justaposition


    1. Dear Viveka,
      I beamed back into some pretty happy memories for this one. Thanks so much for your visit, and your very generous response. And CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU on your award-winning photography!!!

    1. Hi Darla,
      We do have a lot of fun at our house. It was such a sweet surprise to get her letter, and when I was really missing her after the holidays. Your comment about the red shirt cracked me up. Eli is more openly into Star Trek, so I was a little surprised when Bea went for the Starfleet address. It opened up a whole new subject for fun and gift-giving. I asked Bea, “Does this mean you might even wear Star Trek pajamas?” fashioned to look like Classic Trek uniforms. She said, “Maybe.” But because we didn’t want to tempt fate, I asked if she preferred Science Blue or Command Gold. She’s definitely a science kind of gal! Blue it is!

      1. I was surprised that you were surprised by my love of Star Trek. It never diminished, and I feel no shame for my sci-fi devotion!

  1. I have this suspicion that spending time with your family would be like being at a convention with Comedy Central people!

    Sent from my iPad


    1. Hi Carol,
      We enjoy some nice quiet times together, reading, writing, taking care of business. But we definitely have our moments too, and we love to laugh. It’s probably not so different than watching your girls, and the dynamics that happen between them. And I know your kids have a good sense of humor. I still remember that photograph of your daughter sitting and meditating on the yellow strip in the middle of the highway!
      Thank you so much for stopping by. I am so enjoying watching you transform your house! Do you have further plans? It made me want to paint my office something bold and beautiful.

      1. Yes I do, Naomi. I’m installing a glass tile backsplash in the kitchen, probably next week. Will practice on the wall behind the washer in the utility room.

    1. HI Amy,
      Thanks so much for the visit. I wasn’t sure if I had enough material here to merit a post–just the funny letter that my Starfeelt cadet Bea wrote home and my reply. Then I went through the photos, and I really had fun putting it all together. It felt like I had taken a little trip myself.

  2. Soooo happy Bea got the email address! Methinks she is the only one who would have taken it to this level…. So FUN!!!

    1. Me too, Sue! I never even knew there was such a thing. Trust you and Rick to find such a treasure and then to pass it along. I was so surprised to get the first email from Cadet Garrard, and it made me laugh aloud. Most readers won’t even understand most of what makes these letters so very funny. Some of this stuff is really based on the truth. Her two Starfleet friends are clearly her buddies Michael and Ben painted over with a thin Trekkish veneer, and as to the History of the Andorian Empire, Bea showed up for her History of the Chinese Empire only to find that she was one of four people in the class. Two walked out before it was over, and she and the other student, who was Chinese, signed a pact that neither one would drop out and leave the other as the sole student in class!

  3. OZywoomlass intercepted. Transcript received and decoded by CrackDuo. Excellent intelligence for the Cause. Continue surveillance. You have earned :-))0 star fleet points and two shoulder pips

  4. Love this! Great pictures and imaginations!!! Wait … she isn’t really at the Starfleet Academy, is she? If so, I’d like to visit too. 😉

    1. Ha ha! Me too! She goes to Stanford, which is in the San Francisco area, but not nearly as much fun as Starfleet! So good to hear from you. With all the holidays and company, I am behind in my blog reading. I look forward to catching up with you. I hope your New Year has been a good one.

    1. Dear Paula,
      So good to hear from you. Thanks for the generous response. I hope sunshine comes your way, but if not, you are the kind of person who can radiate her own sunshine.
      I hope the New Year is treating you well!

    1. YES!!!! It’s good to know you’re out there, Laurel. I am out of the closet, a lifelong Star Trek geek! It was WAY more than I could’ve hoped for to actually give birth to my very own Starfleet cadet!

  5. Hee, hee, hee:-) I love your family‘s unique sense of humour and enjoyment of the unusual. I suppose it‘s called eccentricity. You are definitely the sort of next door neighbours that I’d really like to have.

    1. HI Sarah,
      Thank you so much. I think we would love to have you for a neighbor too. The neighbors take it all in stride. I warned my neighbor once that there would be a gathering of fairies and elves in our yard that night. He told me, “That ‘s okay. As long as it isn’t trolls.”

  6. Such an enjoyable way to start my day! I’ll have to share this with my husband who’s a big Trekkie fan. Glad to see that your family has an enormous sense of humor and just as much love.


Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s